Steven

(To All Readers-Steven's essay written about...himself...was created after being out of school for a while. The following contains some, "Informal Banter")

ALL HAIL KING STEVEN By Random Documentary Person(Because Steven didn't write this about himself, you know)

 An Introduction Like No Other-Literally EVERYONE! You will never(NEVER) believe who I saw today! Steven Wright, some person who goes to Herbert Hoover Middle School in Edison, New Jersey; can you believe it!? Anyways, he was born in John F. Kennedy(Better known as JFK) hospital, in June of 1997. Although he may be considered to be younger than most students in his grade, he is just as, if not, more diligent then most. He takes great pride in his school work and always strives to do his best. Now, let's get farther into this fellow, shall we?

=A Huge Animal Lover= First off, something immensely significant in Steven’s life is his pets! Yup, that’s right, pets! Steven is very proud of those little furballs. In fact, I actually wrote down everything he said to me! Now…if I could just find it- OH! Here it is! Ahem. Steven shared with me, “My pets mean a lot to me. I can be having a bad day, and my dog Zoe can walk up and rub against my leg, and my day can be easily fixed.” ISN’T THAT SWEET? I've also been told he has a bird named Gerald, who isn't the friendliest thing on this planet, and Zoe, as Steven talked about before; a fat, tiny dog with a bubbly personality you can't miss.

=Likes and Dislikes= This short(I like to call it a bonus) paragraph will just be a list of things Steven likes and dislikes(for future references)

LIKES

 * Kittens
 * Pandas
 * Close friends
 * ...Chapstick
 * Things that improve his horrific 20/70 vision
 * Books
 * Poems
 * All animals in general

DISLIKES

 * Bugs that make high, creepy buzzing noises
 * Snobs, like, the ones who bathe in makeup
 * Obnoxious people
 * Liars
 * Gym class
 * People who get in to stupid fads
 * People who are interested in the popularity chain
 * Foods that start with the word "Green"
 * Candy(Hold your "*Frightening noises* YOU DON'T LIKE CANDY YOU ROTTEN CHILD!) comments to yourself
 * Pillows that aren't comfortable
 * Toe nails
 * The heat

=Some More Hobbies= The day in my life when I actually got to meet up with Steven in the hallways, I noticed something. HE WAS HOLDING A BOOK AND A PEN! Immediately I exclaimed, “WHAT IN THE SAKE OF ALL MUFFINS ARE YOU DOING HOLDING THOSE UTENSILS!?” Softly, he responded, “Uh…what do you think?”…Now at this point, I was very offended, for my mind was floating with images of ponies holding umbrellas, so HOW DARE HE MOCK MY INTELLIGENCE??? So I sat silent. In doing so, I got him to say “…I ENJOY READING AND WRITING!” So, when I found out he likes reading and writing, I was dying to know more. And with the power of complete annoyance on my side, I got that he enjoys his computer and spending time with friends and family! Isn’t that neat?

=The Childhood of a Once Dramatic Young Boy= Oh, oh, oh! Guess what?!?!? I also found out that was once a little child! Can you believe it!? I didn’t know that was possible! Anyways, Steven was an incredibly dramatic little boy, always whining and fussing about stuff. If I remember correctly, he actually stated one conversation he and his mother had when he was a little boy… Steven-“MOOOMMMM, I’M THIRSTYY!” Mother-“Hi, Thirsty!” Steven-“NOO, I’M THIRSTY THIRSTY!” Mother-“I know, Thirsty, I’m hungry! Nice to meet you!” Steven-"*Random gibberish, throws a fit*” Now, other than that, Steven usually kept a poker face (Not to be mistaken with a horrible song) in kindergarten and was always the sweet little kid, when really, he was WILD. But as he looks back at his childhood, he smiles and thinks, “How STUPID was I?”

Anyways, I sure do hope you quite enjoyed this…interesting documentary on a random short student I interviewed! Now…look back on the world, and all who inhabit it and its wild journeys. Is there any role model BETTER than Steven Wright?

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